Excellent work Aaron. This is genuinely witty and satirical - not an easy skill for the novice scriptwriter - well done. I can actually 'see this' on screen when I read it.
To Improve: consider the logistics of getting the props, location, actors etc to realise this as a short 2 minute scene. Begin rehearsing you actors and sourcing props - you will need to build 'the bomb' and get the West Ham short to make the gags work. Think carefully about how you will shoot this to be able to record sound.
Stylised dialogue accurate and makes sense. Realistic.
ReplyDeleteRepresents MACRO clearly. it is understandable
Excellent work Aaron. This is genuinely witty and satirical - not an easy skill for the novice scriptwriter - well done. I can actually 'see this' on screen when I read it.
ReplyDeleteTo Improve: consider the logistics of getting the props, location, actors etc to realise this as a short 2 minute scene. Begin rehearsing you actors and sourcing props - you will need to build 'the bomb' and get the West Ham short to make the gags work. Think carefully about how you will shoot this to be able to record sound.
B (WT an A)